“And yet, here I am, just another vagina lying on a sheet of deli paper, in a universally sized piece of cotton, legs spread and bracing for impact.”
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The speculum was not designed with the patient in mind. A speculum, for those who have not been intimately introduced, is an instrument doctors use to better see the inside of our bodies. They are most often called upon during gynecological exams. They essentially allow a clear passageway for the doctor to scrape, poke, touch, and grope internal organs. And if none of that sounds like a Great Time, then just wait until you hear more about the physical design of this vaginal car jack.
The shape of it mimics a long bird beak. A long bird beak made out of cold metal. I think metal is the chosen material because it can be easily sanitized. Although I once had a midwife offer to “warm one up for me” before the exam.
“Is that sanitary?” (I thought.)
“Warm it.” (I said out loud.)
The material is the first thing I’d redesign upon Day 1 as Lead Designer in the Speculatorium Factory. The second would be an increase in product variety. See, vaginas are not a “one size fits all” situation. While Google tells me there are three sizes of speculums, I’ve only been introduced to one. And the three sizes I see on Google Image Search are just scaled-up versions of one another. They do not take into account the different shapes, lengths, and proportions of our individual bodies. My grade school teacher used to sing: “You’re not one in a million! You’re one in eight billion!” to remind us of our unique genetic makeup.
And yet, here I am, just another vagina lying on a sheet of deli paper, in a universally sized piece of cotton, legs spread and bracing for impact.
This piece was written as part of the SVA Design Writing & Research Online Summer Intensive 2023.
It was created during “Writing for the Ear,” a podcasting workshop.
It was created during “Writing for the Ear,” a podcasting workshop.